in 6th grade i got really bad nose bleeds and i could tell 2-3 minutes before i got them. i sat next to this really religious kid so to scare him i said “hail satan” as my nose started to drip. he passed out and never came back.
lemme see if it was any good
no delete it i look dumb
I wonder if women realize that the reason their asses are called booty is because that’s what treasure was once called and us men have some fucked up priorities.
some people’s selfie game is so strong that makes me feel uncomfortable
Its called Photoshop my friend
One man’s loss is another man’s gain.
Without DVR: omfg I hate all these commercials
With DVR: hmm who wants an uber turbo waterproof rubber sealant spray. Wait why the fuck am I watching the commercials? Oh Ashley’s furniture is having a sale on NO FUCK YOU COMMERCIALS
"Oh your brothers not coming is he?"
“Loki is dead”
“Oh thank god, … uh … I’m so sorry.”